You know, a doctor told me when I was diagnosed with cancer that I actually have an old white lady’s cancer, and I was like, "What does that mean?" I mean, does it mean that it’s not aggressive, curable, and I’ll look great in turquoise, like what does that mean? I have stage IB/stage II ER-positive, HER2 cancer. She wasn’t comfortable sharing her age, but wanted us to know she’s looking for a man between the ages of 45 and 55. Suzette wasn’t dating anyone when she was diagnosed, but she was actively looking. During chemotherapy, Suzette wore a Wonder Woman costume and broadcast online comedy routines from her chemo chair, despite frowns from the nurses when she adjusted her ring light and set off the infusion alarm because she moved her arms. Jamie DePolo: Suzette Brown is a stand-up comedian who lives in New York City. It would’ve been a terrible time to look for a relationship, but it was a wonderful time to look for entertainment to keep me distracted from cancer treatment. I was very fortunate to have been surrounded by friends, girlfriends and family and people that love me that helped me through things. I’m a very social person, and breast cancer initially took some of that away because I was sick with the chemo. Say yes to all the fun, say yes to any enjoyment you can get. And I got this strong message that I would say yes to everything. It took me about two months to get my head under control and just pray and give it over to God. I was scared and all I could think about was cancer. Because when I was first diagnosed and my boyfriend dumped me, I was a mess, like most people. And it’s a very unlikely story, and I have to tell you I do believe that God helped me through that and He made those things happen. He is a wonderful man, and I met him while I was doing chemo the first time. He stood by my side, and he gutted it out even though he was not comfortable with all of the things that were happening to my body and to me. And in hindsight he probably did the biggest favor of my life, because had he stayed with me during treatment, I would have felt obligated to stay with him and it turned out that was quite a gift when he dumped me.īy the second diagnosis, I had married someone. And I remember thinking, “That is so rude.” It wasn’t that I was upset that he dumped me so much, because I don’t think that I was in love with him, but it was the rudest thing I could imagine. And we had fun together, but he probably dumped me about three days later after my diagnosis. When I was diagnosed the first time, I had been divorced for two years, and I had been dating a guy for about a year. So, here I am 11 years later and doing fine. And then I was diagnosed again with a local recurrence in 2013, and I had bilateral mastectomy with a DIEP flap and chemo again and again lost my hair. I chose to get a lumpectomy and do chemo and radiation. I was 43 when I was first diagnosed, it was right after my 43rd birthday, and I had triple-negative breast cancer. After her first diagnosis, the man she was dating dumped her. Their stories, while far from typical dating tales, do seem to indicate that there’s hope, fun, and some wonderful, empathetic people out there.įirst, meet Shawn, a nurse who lives in Kentucky and has gone through two breast cancer diagnoses.
To offer some real-world insights, The Podcast asked four people from across the United States - three women and one man - about their diagnoses and how they approached dating after breast cancer.
You’re probably wondering when is the right time to tell someone you’ve just met about your diagnosis and ways that your body may have changed. You may worry that your wig will come off if someone tries to run their fingers through your hair. You may wonder if your prospective date will think you’re attractive. Still, once you finish your main treatments, dating might seem more possible, but still make you feel nervous, excited, curious, or even terrified. If you’re a single person going through breast cancer treatment, dating is probably the last thing on your mind, especially if you’re adjusting to any changes in your body after surgery, or experiencing unpleasant side effects like nausea or diarrhea. Jamie DePolo: Hello, thanks for listening.